Confessions of someone with a snoring partner
By 2:00 AM
I love my husband. But some nights that love turns to seething, irrational hatred.
Not because I am a psychopath. But because his insanely loud snoring keeps me awake…
Here are a few things anyone with a partner who snores will understand:
- When you say good night you always add ‘please don’t snore’ – like it’ll make any difference.
- They then reply ‘ok, good night’ – like it’ll make any difference.
- It always takes you ages to get to sleep because you know The Snore will begin as soon as you start to drift off.
- You sometimes stare at their sleeping, snoring face and feel as though you HATE them.
- You know you are in for a really bad night when they start snoring BEFORE they are asleep.
- In a fit of sleep-deprived rage you have held their nose to make it stop.
- But all this does is make them snore even louder but through their mouth, which is even worse.
- At one point during the night you will tell them, ‘I can’t go on like this. You’ll have to go to the doctor. Your snoring is RUINING OUR RELATIONSHIP!’
- They reply that they will do something about it. Have an operation, lose weight, try hypnotherapy.
- They do nothing.
- While the continuous snore is bad, the sudden burst of noise after a five-minute silence is quite terrifying.
- The first time the snoring wakes you up, you go with a gentle poke and a polite request for them to ‘please stop snoring’.
- The second time the snoring wakes you up, you go for full-on swearing.
- It’s particularly annoying when you wake them up and they tell you; ‘I wasn’t snoring!’ Like you have been lying awake all night just for the fun of it.
- By 2am you’re considering a divorce.
- Some nights it’s so bad that you/they move on to the sofa but you can still hear them. Or can you? Is the sound just stuck in your head? Make it STOP!!
51% of the divorces in America today state snoring/sleep apnea as one of the reasons for a divorce. 27% of the couples in America now sleep in separate rooms. Sad but true…..